SCUBA

I never thought I would want to SCUBA dive. I never really even thought about it. Ryan wanted to, but I assumed it was something I would let him do with me sitting on the sidelines. He was determined to get certified prior to our Hawaii vacation this year; for one who wishes to SCUBA dive, that's an amazing place to start eh?

Then, it came time to sign up for lessons. Ryan was so excited and I got excited with him. After several days of consideration, I decided to sign up with him. Wow, never thought that would happen. So, we went to the shop, got my required gear (mask, snorkel, booties, and fins) and me signed up for the same class as Ryan. We studied (maybe not as much as we should, maybe more than others..) and we took our test. We were ready for SCUBA lessons the next day.

Except that I was always deep down feeling a sense of anxiety, a feeling of fear at the thought of being 30, 40, 50 feet under water...that's A LOT of water to be under!! The book talked about pressure changes and dangers. Then there's the small fact that....humans CANNOT breathe naturally underwater. The only way we can breathe is to take the air with us and only then we have to have the regulator (air mouthpiece/feeder thingy) in our mouths for us to actually get that air that we're traveling with.

But I did my best not to think of my fears and tell myself that I'm only feeling anxiety and fear because I haven't ever done this before, it should go away with exposure.

At class we got in the water (let it be known I was already frustrated though other events prior) and put on our gear and were instructed to go under water, breathing mind you...breathing, underwater. I took my last breath of lovely air from the surrounding room, put the regulator in my mouth and went under. It was a bit weird, a bit crazy, then I attempted to take my first breath and everything went downhill. I took a breath and water rushed into my mouth; apparently I didn't have a good grip on the regulator with my lips. Out of the water in a complete panic I came and completely fell apart. After panicking and falling apart in the pool for several minutes, I got out...and never got back in that day.

I did a lot of thinking the rest of that day and the next. Making sure I wasn't attempting lessons for Ryan, but only for myself. Thinking about whether or not I actually really wanted to learn how to dive. I went through so many decisions of "yes" and "no" I was a complete washing machine; what I "decided" one minute was very likely not to be my decision the next. Finally, while Ryan was at the Sunday class and I was at home watching some random bit of TV, I made my final decision. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to learn, but I needed to get back in the pool and try again. I needed to try again and really focus on giving the activity a good try; and I hadn't the first time, I panicked and completely shut down.

So, we talked to the instructor and it was decided that we could come in on Friday (this is Monday by the way) and see what happens. No pressure, nothing fast, no extra group. Great, I had ALL week to think and stew about my decision. And if you know me at all, you probably know that I'm really good at stewing. I think and think and think some more, constantly wondering if I made the right decision, and it allows my terror to build. By the time Friday evening rolled around, that's exactly what I was feeling, outright terror.

But the instructor was wonderful; she was very nice and understanding. She talked about her experience learning to dive and how it took her a while to stop feeling anxiety about not having the open air right next to her. Basically for about 2 1/2 hours I worked on breathing, that's it, breathing...underwater. First with the snorkel, then with the regulator. At the end I had the tank on my back and was throwing a water toy torpedo thing back and forth. I have a lot to think about...again, but this time my thoughts are in a different light.

My decision to continue can be based on knowing that I can and deciding that I simply don't want to, as opposed to being terrified and deciding that I can't. Still not sure about this whole SCUBA diving thing. I suppose only time will tell if I actually complete the course and start diving with Ryan (he'd always be my dive buddy). But at least I have the option. It's nice to have options.

Hello...it's been a while

Ok, now I realize that it's been since right after Christmas since I've written anything on this little site that I created a little under a year ago stating that I had no clue how well I would do with regular updates. Generally I have used the blog as a way to update the world on the status of our dogs, because they provide the most entertaining parts of our life.

Sable is currently at 67lbs, Shiva borders around 55lbs; both have been determined to be too big for showing as they are taller than the "standard". Sable has gotten into a terrible habit of leaving our yard if left unattended in the backyard for any length of time, she currently gets to stay in her crate while we're at work. Shiva stays in the yard, she doesn't ever leave; so she gets the privilege of staying out all day.

Speaking of Sable leaving the yard, she provided us with a very interesting week this week. First off, on Monday she decided that it was a good time to jump up on the kitchen counter and eat a lovely chicken bone. So, we're sitting in the living room watching some TV after having eaten dinner and we hear a "crunch" from the kitchen. Go into investigate and discover that the chicken bone that WAS on the plate on the counter is now missing. We gave both dogs a nice helping of bread and prayed that it would pass uneventfully. Luckily after several days we determined that it has since she was still eating, drinking and being as wild as ever.

Then on Thursday night, goodness oh Thursday night.... It started very nicely, I had a wonderful time doing a little shopping and then chatting for several hours at La'Madeline. Got home around 10:45, sat and watched TV with Ryan for a bit, then went to get ready for bed and sleep. As I turn off the water from taking my shower Ryan's asking for his robe; the lovely dog that likes to leave our yard has left in the 30 seconds that she was outside for a bedtime potty break..apparently she didn't need to go one little bit. So, he finds his robe and runs outside with a flashlight for a quick look around the block. Comes home with no puppy to get the car to drive around the neighboorhood, "it's too cold to be walking around" he says. I put on some clothes and contain my wet hair in a little hat so I don't get sick from running around outside at midnight in 30 degree weather. We drive around for a bit and finally spot her trotting along having a grand ol' time. You're thinking right now...oh good!! She's caught, safe, and feels bad for causing frustration in her family. WRONG! She evades us all the way down a street, through a field and disappears into the tiny little patch of woods still left behind our house. Keep in mind, we're not dressed for a trip into the woods in the middle of the night..I'm in my house shoes and Ryan is in sandels. Ryan takes me home, "you need sleep"...yeah...me sleep when my baby is out running around in the world with tons of danger around?! I do however, manage to finish getting ready for bed, then take up a post at our front window with a squeaky toy in hand..she may run by and the squeaky may just convince her to come to me. Around 1:15, Ryan comes back home...again with no puppy. He's seen her again, but she has evaded him at every turn. I cry for my baby as we consider going to bed to wait for her to get tired and come home.

Ryan decides to go back out, takes Shiva with him and squeaky toy...perhaps these tools will aid him in the capture of our wild dog. I get a hold of myself and open my computer, hoping that someone is around for me to chat with, but being 1 in the morning I am not too surprisingly disappointed. Then I get the best text of my life, "Got her." I cry some more, but this time out of glee. Ryan gets home and pulls her in the house, while I imediately collasp onto her, give her a long hug, and cry into her fur for several very wonderful minutes. In the process I'm pretty sure I called her, "stupid dog"; a title which she completely deserves for keeping me up so late on a work night. So, we finally settle in for the night 2 hours late, but none the less complete as all of our family members are safely in the house. 3 1/2 hours later my alarm goes off for me to go to work.....

Thus, was our week with our dogs. Sable provides the frustration, but also the most amusing stories; while Shiva, our good little Shiva, stays home and is happy as long as you give her plenty of good belly rubs.


The pictures scattered through the post start with a pathetic picture of them in one of the crates, they were muddy and needed a while to dry a bit before I would allow them to run around the house. The other two are them with their Christmas presents, rawhide turkey legs from Petsmart (50% off in the after Christmas sales)